I'm sorry

Things haven't been good of late. I feel shit about myself and quite demotivated. I don't know what i'm doing with my life and still figuring out my long-term plan. I feel like a burden to a lot of people, you know? And there's nothing much that i can do (as for now) than saying sorry. So here goes..

First and foremost, i'm sorry to my parents for not being able to make you proud of me yet. Getting a mere 9-5 job is definitely not what is expected from me. I'm sorry i don't read enough and i haven't done anything great in life yet. I'm sorry that i'm not yet able to be a fully responsible person. I'm sorry i go out a lot. I'm sorry if i've ever been rude or raised my voice to any of you. 

To the rest:

I'm sorry to those whom i take forever to reply their texts to.
I'm sorry for my lack of punctuality.
I'm sorry for taking you for granted.
I'm sorry for not respecting you enough.
I'm sorry to those whom i was ever harsh to. Being close to people sometimes make you feel like you're entitled to throw some hard jokes at them, so if i crossed any boundaries, i'm sorry.
I'm sorry for my insensitivity and awkwardness.
I'm sorry if i ever make you feel left out.
I'm sorry if i ever make you feel like shit. 
I'm sorry if i ever embarrass you in public (this also applies to when i accidentally talk out loud restaurants because i was excited)
I'm sorry to your partners i.e. your girlfriend or boyfriend if i ever crossed the line.

To 17 year-old self:

I'm sorry that i let you down.
I'm sorry that i'm not as successful as you hoped to be.
I'm sorry that i'm nowhere close to being a diplomat.
I'm not as successful as i thought i would be at the age of 24.
I'm sorry that i'm bad at maintaining my connections.
I'm not even that fun anymore.
I feel old.
I'm not even working at a PR agency anymore, i hope you forgive me.
My pay is nowhere near what i value myself at 24.
My skills are depleting and outdated.

To all of you that i have wronged-- especially to myself,
I'm sorry. I truly am.

And in spirit of this forgiving month of Syawal,
Selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin.

Much love from your good 'ol Rina. 


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