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Showing posts from 2016
I used to be so passionate about education and my studies. Whenever i studied, my main goal is to get educated and never to get the Dean's List. Never.
It's funny how things have changed so drastically that right now, i'm counting days till the end of my degree. Can't wait for this to end. Whatever i do; assignments, tests, projects are all accompanied by this little voice in my head "Come on, Na. Just get this done and over with ffs" 
I'm tired. I'm really tired. My father is so eager and willing to send me abroad to do my Masters, but sorry to disappoint, Pa. But i'm really tired. My brain is drained. My passion is out the window. I just wanna jump into adulthood and work my ass off. 
I don't think i was ever meant to be an academician. Remember how back in secondary school, i brought my laptop and DSLR instead of books? I just wanna work so help me Lord. 
Rant over.
On a side note, i'm going to Sabah on Thursday morning with my classma…

Get Selfish!

You know why we should never do things for people? Because at the end of the day, people will get selfish. They will make you do things for them, but they'll never do things for you.
Take my story as an example. I have made a shitload of sacrifices for people. I had so many opportunities ahead of me. My future was bright. But because some people that i care about talked me into why i shouldn't take the offers, i listened to them. "You're right". At the end of the day, i'm suffering in this shithole. I regret those choices that i made. I regret not getting better things i deserve. I know i deserve better. And now, i'm left alone. Because the people that i listened to are leaving me alone in this shithole. Gone are the 'We're in this together' days. Gone. Like those promises were never made. Can't believe i succumbed to your pleads, to your dramas.
"Are you leaving?! What about me?!"
Oh fuck you. Never thought i'd be that stupi…
I don't know if this has ever occurred to you.

Ever felt so betrayed and pissed at someone so close to you, that you just wanna yell at them,

"AKU SEBUT NAMA KAU SETIAP KALI AKU JUMPA TUHAN TAU TAK?!"
but you didn't because it's pointless to tell them how much they mean to you.

Future is so damn near.

I have reached that age when i start worrying about my future. I constantly think about my future. I am about to finish my degree in a year, am i ready to go to the outside world? Will i be able to support myself?
My parents have been supporting me all my life. I have asked my parents quite a number of times if i could work at retail stores and obviously, permission denied. Instead my father would make me do some things and pay me. So yeah, i have no working experience. The only working experiences that i have are when i was working for my father, my event volunteerings and UiTM events (but i highly doubt this counts). My academic performance is okay, i guess. But what about my skills? Are they well-polished? My people skills are still rusty, that's for sure! Oh no, i'm not ready for the outside world, am i?
My job. What kind of job can i get? With no experience? Good Lord. I just want to stop depending on my parents financially, man. They have already supported me for 22 yea…

Car is home.

There are so many things i want to tell you guys. So many. Problems, updates, unfortunate events. But unfortunately, most of them are so personal that i don't feel like they should be put on the world wide web. Because you know, they remain here forever. Maybe if we meet face to face, we can talk yeah? It's frustrating for me too, you know. I wanna tell you things, but i don't know how to tell you without telling you.
I wonder what you think of me. I really do. Do you think i am a lousy writer? Do you think my life is no fun at all, because, you know, i keep talking about my studies? Why don't i talk about my relationships? What kind of movies do i like? What is my kind of lepak? Whatever your questions are, shoot. Be it anonymously or with your name. However you prefer it.
But the last question is nice. I like lepak
I don't know what your kind of lepak is. You could be going for food hunting or jamming, but i like the kinda lepak that really emphasizes on the c…

Rush.

I see that Caucasian guy walking down the escalator.
I see that woman standing at the corner and looking blankly at the passersby.
I see a group of Malay guys in their sarongs running towards the mosque.
And at the same time, I see another Malay guy walking while texting towards the mosque.
I also see this couple walking down the ramp; the lady is holding the guy's hand firmly while the guy is looking sideways, pulling a face and walking at a faster pace than the woman.
Oh, there's also a man pushing the stroller up the escalator instead of taking the elevator.
It's Friday noon and everyone is rushing, regardless of their races
Where are they heading to? 

Do you remember the last time you felt that rush in your head?
The last time you wished that everyone could move just a tad bit faster.

Oh, i remember when i couldn't wait for the traffic light to turn green
I remember when i couldn't wait for Zuriani to publish a new post
I remember when i just wanted to say 'no'…

Rant.

If, if la kan, you guys are free, and you have no one to lepak with, please do let me know.
So we can go lepak together. Because i'm free too.
And i wanna go out too. If you want to go to KL, leggo.
I can take the train and i can meet you there.
I'm so malas to drive, because the thing is,
I am broke to isi my minyak kereta.
My car is very interesting; it telan my minyak like how Instagram telan your mobile data.
So do you understand? I have money, but not enough money to isi minyak and pergi balik KL few times in a week.
Like hello, if i were rich, i would have repainted the car, get a new radio,
fix the doorhandle, but i'm not, Megat. I'm not.
If i had more money, i would have spent it on you.
So don't you worry.

Yes, my car's name is Megat. My laptop is Jebat. Cool kan?

That super long post by Rina

Assalamualaikum, guys. I have a pretty serious announcement to make. Bear with me.

If you know me pretty well, then you should know that I do not like studying in UiTM for degree. Shah Alam's ambience is just, it's not welcoming for me. I don't find it comfortable. I have mentioned this way at the beginning of the semester and hey, I've finished the semester! My results will be out in about 20 days.

If you have heard me complaining about Shah Alam before; I wasn't kidding, guys. I certainly am not the type of person who whines, so when I point out something, it means that i'm really bugged. So I voiced out my uneasiness to my family. I, in a way, asked them if I can leave UiTM and surprisingly, they are fine with it. My brother was tremendously shocked though, because everything seemed fine.

I can't deny that I am having trouble adapting with my current peers. I truly, deeply miss my diploma friends. I miss our usual breakfast get-together every week, I m…

Another Appreciation Post

Other than God Almighty, there will be another person that you turn to in case of any mishaps in your life. I'm sure you do.

He or she is that one person in life that heavily affects you. For example, if your best friend suggests you to do something, you would consider and contemplate for at least 7 times. But if it is this particular human being, you wouldn't even need to consider anything. You would just be "You know what, you're right. I'll do exactly that." This person doesn't even have to be a best friend. He can be just another entity that has magic at his fingertips and changes your entire way of thinking. And you know that he is damn wise and rational about things.
This person can be your mother, your father, your neighbour, your teacher, your boyfriend; anyone. 
When i was 14, i didn't even know i would feel these kind of things. Heck, i didn't even believe in love. Everything i saw on TV, movies, was all fictional to me. Pure source of e…