The thing that we should do before we go to bed.

nowplaying - Talk by Coldplay

I feel different this semester. Too different that i just hate it. I hate it so much.


For some people, different is good, but at this point, it is too bad that i wanna pull my hair off.

I talk a lot.
I gossip a lot.
I feel a lot meaner to people.
I feel stupid (intellectual wise).
My languages have gone bad. Too bad that i talk slower now.
I have attitude problem.
I reprimanded someone (over the phone) for the first time since i got here.
I skipped classes twice this semester because i was too lazy.
I've stopped reading newspapers.
I've started whining.
I'm a bitch.

How do i get my old self back?

I believe in karma. I believe in the law of attraction. Trust me, eventhough i am not an engineer, what goes around comes around. Try talking bad about someone; for example, how weak one is in general knowledge, you'll feel a lot dumber the next day.

My fluency in languages have gone really, really bad. Is it because of the people i mix with?

I've started gossiping about people. But that doesn't mean i've never gossiped about people here. I used to be the ear than the mouth in conversations. However, now, i'm turning to a mouth.

I used to write whenever i don't feel good. But i'm starting to listen to songs!

How do i stop this?!


I just feel leaving my body on this chair i'm sitting on now. Walk out of the body for a few minutes. Then my soul would sit on the table. I'll just stare at myself. Here comes the Q&A session.

Why have you changed?
What has gotten into you?
Are you in trouble?
Why do you have such a big mouth?
How can it enlarge so quickly?
Why are you becoming ruder and ruder?
Has that heart shrunk?
How can you call yourself 'mature' anymore?
Are you even in this world anymore?

What's the point of asking the 'mannequin' anymore. It's a mannequin. Kick it. Slap it. Strangle it. Just don't expect any responds.

Huh. I just want myself back. This is not me.

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