Self-Esteem is sinking.

Isn't it ironic how mass communication is supposed to boost your self-esteem but mine just rapidly sinking? 

It is down to the level where i'm even afraid to tweet anything.

"If i tweet this, would it offend anyone?"
"Is this tweet too deep?"
"What if someone is stalking my tweets and using everything to go against me?"
"Is this a form of bragging?"

That's why if you noticed, i often retweet than tweet.
I keep comparing the better people to myself. They are doing really well in life. They are living because they want to live. I am living because it is haram to commit suicide. Am i?
When i look at myself in the mirror, i'd think of how hideous i am. Well, 'how less perfect' actually. Sebenarnya tak elok kan cakap sesuatu benda tu buruk? Kita ni ciptaan Allah jugak. Macam mengutuk ciptaan dia pulak.

I'm at the fragile state. One word from you, and i might just lock myself in a dirty, dusty room, and sit at a corner and reminisce every single moment that i had just gone through. Nevertheless, i have to get over this, right? Every single time that i feel like i am the bottom of an iceberg, never getting the chance to rise, i start counting my blessings. Things i possess that not everyone can get. Skills i have that not many girls out there can figure out! Knowledge i have that i know most students just toss into the dustbin right after the exam ends. 

They might sound self-absorbed or arrogant to you. But to me, i'm just counting my blessings. Even that, i know most of you don't.


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