I can't feel a thing..

These past few days can never get any worse. Last Thursday night aka Malam Jumaat, I had a dream. A few of my teeth - broken. I did read it from somewhere that dreaming of your teeth broken is never a good sign. It means someone from your relatives are gonna - kheekkk - die. The next morning, on my way to school, i told mi madré bout the dream. Dia pun tak boleh nak kata apa. Angguk je la.

After school, we had this forum bout sex before marriage. They did touch here and there about the effect of sex before marriage on our health, psychology. They even said something about abandoning and murder of the baby that's born out of wedlock. The best of all, they touched about lesbianism. That definite moment, someone crossed my mind. But i just sat still and kept quiet.

The incident after the talk is the one that has been leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I scolded someone. A junior of mine, aka a friend of mine's sister. My close friends would know that i don't scold nor yell at people. I really don't. Even my besties. Serapat mana kawan saya pun, I never raise my voice at them. Kalau ye pun, less than 5 times. Put yourself in my shoe. Kalau kawan sendiri pun tak pernah nak marah, do you think i have the balls to scold a person i barely talk to? But at that point i had the guts to scold her. I don't know where i got the courage ; from the anger perhaps? At least i know she deserves one.

I grieved over what i did at her. Maybe i shouldn't do that. Never thought reprimanding someone would be this hard. Argh, i really can't stop thinking about it.

Dear kiddo, if you're reading this, i wanna apologise from the bottom of my heart. I may be too harsh on you, but i want you to know that you were too much. If only you listened when your sister first scolded you, things wouldn't have been this bad. When i said you're too much, you were too much! Almost impeccable for me to raise my hand. Hope you learnt your lesson. I really am sorry. Forgive me.

For what i did towards that kid, i was close to losing one of my good friends. Bila Rina balik, mama jemput Na. Mama cakap "Na, mama bagitau bibik pasal mimpi Na. Bibik kata bibik pun mimpi buruk jugak. Dia mimpi mama masak". Lebih kurang macam tu la mama cerita. Kata orang-orang tua, mimpi masak tu petanda buruk. Tapi benda-benda macam ni kita tak boleh percaya sepenuhnya kan? Khurafat. Berserah je la. Kalau Tuhan nak benda tu jadi, maka jadilah ia.

I got home with tones of things stuck in my head. That night, when i wanted to turn to someone, orang tu pulak merajuk. Haih. Things can never get better, kan? So i swapped to the old me. Putting things behind and applying acting in my daily life like nothing went wrong. I'm playing myself in my own play. If you know what i mean.

Holy cow, i gotta run now. Gotta bring my grandma to KPJ. Au revoir!

.AQUA.REFLECTS.

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